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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997636">Life Is A Blink of An Eye ‘Til You Are No More</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilies_in_a_vase/pseuds/lilies_in_a_vase'>lilies_in_a_vase</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Summer of 1985 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Abusive Neil Hargrove, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Susan, Billy Hargrove &amp; Maxine "Max" Mayfield Have a Good Relationship, Billy Hargrove &amp; Susan Hargrove Have a Good Relationship, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Eleven | Jane Hopper &amp; Maxine "Max" Mayfield Friendship, F/M, Gay Billy Hargrove, Gen, Hurt Billy Hargrove, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Neil Hargrove Being an Asshole, Neil Hargrove is His Own Warning, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, POV Billy Hargrove, POV Susan Hargrove, Past Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Protective Steve Harrington, Protective Susan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:00:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,931</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilies_in_a_vase/pseuds/lilies_in_a_vase</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Susan can imagine Max is confused. She wasn’t supposed to be picked up yet, after all. But Susan has more important things to deal with, so she just turns to meet Hopper’s eyes.</p><p>“Mrs. Hargrove?”</p><p>“Chief Hopper.” Her voice is serious, collected. It doesn’t waver. There are tears in her eyes, but Susan knows she has to hold it together for her children. Max now and Billy later. “I need you to come with me. My husband is currently busy in the living room, beating my son to death.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Billy Hargrove &amp; Susan Hargrove, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Neil Hargrove/Susan Hargrove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Summer of 1985 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>344</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Life Is A Blink of An Eye ‘Til You Are No More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TRIGGER WARNING:<br/>This work deals with child abuse! </p><p>Alright, so if anyone is reading this that hasn’t read the first part of this series, then here’s a quick little recap:<br/>Susan found out about Karen Wheeler &amp; Co going after Billy at the pool, and got them to stop. She also told Billy she’s pregnant, and their relationship is getting better. That’s probably all you need to know? </p><p>Disclaimer:<br/>I don’t own “Stranger Things”. </p><p>Also, the title of this work comes from the song “Hotel Walls” by Smith &amp; Thell. The song doesn’t have anything to do with the story, though. </p><p>Happy Reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Neil is... strangely ecstatic when Susan tells him about the baby. He falls down on his knees in front of her and kisses her belly, and he brings her roses when he comes home from work the next day, and he insists on going with her to her appointments at the Doctor’s office. Susan knows many women who’s husbands barely went to any appointments except the actual birth. She almost dares hope that Neil will be a good father to their unborn child. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But then there’s a morning where they’re all together in the kitchen, eating breakfast, and Neil tells her he hopes it’s a boy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Since we already have a girl”, he says, stands up and ruffles Max’ hair on his way to the coffee pot at the kitchen counter.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Both Susan and Max turn to glance at Billy while Neil’s back is turned. He’s staring down into his coffee cup, not saying anything. Then he looks up, catches Max’ eyes from across the table and it’s like there’s some kind of silent communication going on between them. The kind siblings have. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Max hadn’t exactly been... thrilled, when Susan told her about the baby. She’d grimaced, asked where it was going to sleep, asked if they were going to throw Billy out as soon as the baby needed it’s own room, asked if they were being replaced now that Susan and Neil were going to have a biological child together, and Susan had reassured her that </span> <em> <span class="s2">of course they wouldn’t, of course no one could replace them</span> </em> <span class="s1">, but she’s honestly not so sure anymore of what Neil might do. Still, Max had perked up at that, had laughed and said that she’d finally have someone to boss around and that she actually looked forward to being a big sister. Susan had counted it as a win. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After breakfast Neil hands her a catalogue filled with stuff suitable for babies. Cribs, chairs, toys, clothing. Tells her to look through it and he’ll buy whatever she wants. Susan takes the catalogue with her to work, so she has something to look through during her lunch break, and waves goodbye to Max and Billy as they get in the Camaro so Billy can drive Max to the Henderson’s and then to work at the Pool. It’s one of those rare days when Neil is home from work, and Susan knows he’ll probably spend the day watching sports on the TV.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She is... she is not expecting the scene that greets her when she gets home that afternoon. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a teddy bear on the kitchen counter, with a dark purple stain, and an open juice carton beside it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Neil’s got Billy pressed up against the wall. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan immediately understands what must have happened. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy’s angling his body away from his father’s, one arm pressed back against the wall and the other around his middle, but it’s hard since Neil’s got his chin in a vice like grip, with Billy’s head pushed back. She can see an already darkening mark on his cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Neil draws back his hand, and Susan sees Billy squeeze his eyes shut against the incoming hit. The sound of skin meeting skin in such a forceful way echoes in Susan’s ears and makes her gasp. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop!” she shouts. “Neil, stop!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he does. He turns around to look at her, and he seems shocked. <em>To see her there? To have her interrupt him?</em> Susan doesn’t care, because he still hasn’t let go of Billy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy, who’s staring at her with wide eyes before quickly turning to look down at the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Susie?” He sounds so confused, like he can’t understand why she’s talking. Why she isn’t silent.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-“, Susan says, because she doesn’t like the way he’s looking at her. There’s anger there, darkness, underneath the confusion. Like he’s daring her to disobey him. Neil has never looked at her like that before. “The baby”, she says, because she needs an excuse, something Neil will care about. “Think about the baby. It isn’t... it isn’t good for the baby. I’m not supposed to be stressed. To see things which... upset me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Neil seems to deflate. He lets go of Billy as though he’s been burned, and he nods at her. He never lets his gaze waver from hers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re right. Of course. I’m sorry you had to see something like that. I will... I think I will go for a drive.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he leaves the kitchen, stops in the doorway to take her hand and kiss it, before he goes on out to the living room and hallway. Susan hears the front door close, and less then a minute later hears his car leave their street. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as it’s gone she turns and rushes over to Billy. He’s leaning back against the wall, still staring at the floor. He flinches when Susan reaches out a hand towards him. Susan feels shame pooling in the bottom of her belly. She bites her lip, tries to catch his eyes from behind all the curly locks he’s let fall in front of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Billy... let me look. Please.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hears him sigh and close his eyes for a second or two, before he leans his head back so she can look. She slowly reaches up a hand and lets it linger above the quickly bruising, red skin. But there’s no blood, and Susan doesn’t think he’s going to need a hospital for it. She should get him some ice, though. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not too bad, I know”, Billy says. “I’ve had worse.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan grimaces, but nods and steps back, on her way to get the ice, but a hard grip around the wrist of the hand she’d held towards Billy stops her. She turns back to him, and he lets go, but he’s looking at her with anger in his eyes. It reminds her of the first time she’d seen Neil hit him. He’d looked angry at her then, too, when he caught her watching without doing anything. But she’d done something now, so why is he again looking at her like that? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the fuck were you thinking? How fucking stupid can you be?” he hisses at her, and Susan blanches and takes a step back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What- I... Billy, what-?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Why the fuck did you </span> <em> <span class="s2">stop him?</span> </em> <span class="s1">” he says, and God, he’s starting to sound less angry and more desperate. “You’re pregnant, Susan! You can’t just- You can’t go around and put yourself in danger like that!” There’s genuine fear in his eyes. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan backs away until she reaches a kitchen chair to sit down in, and almost unconsciously places a hand on her steadily growing bump.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Billy’s looking... Billy’s looking close to falling apart. He’s not leaning back against the wall anymore, but is clenching and unclenching his hands, a ball of restless energy. “I guess he didn’t tell you about my mum, but he would hit her as well. That’s why she left. And when she was gone, he started in on me. He always needs... He always needs someone to go off on. And once I’m gone, who do you think it’ll be? Max? Or you? The baby? I don’t know. But I know you’ll leave him if he does. But until then, I don’t want you to fucking make him want to hurt you. You don’t know what he’s like when he gets angry. You were lucky today, but he can lose control, and if you do that again he might go after you and he could kill that child you have in you. That baby depends on you, Susan. I... I’ve dealt with my dad for a decade, I’m used to it and I can keep doing it.” He looks away, sighs, and looks back at her. “You can... you can protect me from Karen Wheeler and her friends, but you can’t protect me from my dad. Promise me, Susan. </span> <em> <span class="s2">Please</span> </em> <span class="s1">.” He sounds so broken that Susan can’t help herself from opening her mouth and uttering a quiet: </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Which she has no intention of keeping, but Billy doesn’t need to know that.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He bites his lip, nods, and leaves the kitchen. Susan hears the door to the bathroom close. She stays sitting for a minute or two. She had no clue Neil used to hit Billy’s mum, although it isn’t particularly shocking information. She just... she’s never thought about it before. She sighs and stands up to go get the ice. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Billy’s almost finished closing up at the Pool when he hears a car approach and park. He sighs and grabs a towel to dry his hands before going out to the parking lot, expecting to have to remind someone that the pool is closed at this time, but when he gets there it’s not a middle aged couple or some of his classmates that are going to try to get him to let them in, <em>‘</em></span> <em> <span class="s2">Just for a little bit, Billy. You can join’</span> </em> <span class="s1">, it’s Steve, leaning back against the Beemer. He lifts up a hand in greeting and Billy can’t help but laugh. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The fuck are you doing here?” he asks once he gets past the gate, but there’s no heat to his words. “I was just about to leave to go to your place.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know. But this was on the way from work, and I...”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy hangs his towel around his shoulders and steps up to Steve, close enough that they’re almost touching. He’s not dressed in that stupid sailor’s uniform they make him wear at work, which is a shame, because Billy lives teasing him about it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“... you couldn’t wait like, half an hour, to see me?” Billy says with a grin. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve smiles and nods. “Yeah, exactly.” His gaze falls on the bruise Neil left on Billy’s cheek two days ago, the one that didn’t get worse because Susan fucking saved him, and his eyes turn concerned, smile disappearing. “You okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Billy smiles back at him. Steve’s yet to see what marks Neil’s fists can really leave on Billy’s body, and Billy would like to keep it that way for as long as possible. He doesn’t need Steve worrying about him, not over something he can handle, something he </span> <em> <span class="s2">has</span> </em> <span class="s1"> been handling, for years. It’s enough that he told him about Nancy’s mum, enough that Steve held him then and brushed away the few stray tears Billy let escape. He doesn’t need this, too. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So he nods, and smirks back at him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve nods back, then looks quickly to the sides before meeting Billy’s eyes again. “We alone?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can I kiss you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy grins. “You’re like a little girl, you know, with her first boyfriend.” But then he leans forward and lets his lips meet Steve’s. It’s more of a peck than a real kiss. “You’ll have to settle for that until we get to your place.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re mean”, Steve says with a pout. It’s fucking adorable. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah, and you’re adorable. Now go.” He makes a shooing gesture and Steve laughs but does as he’s told. Billy turns back to go and finish closing up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">—</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Have you ever been in love?” Steve asks, a couple of hours later. It’s starting to get dark, the sun painting the the tree crowns gold, and they’re out by the pool in Steve’s backyard. Steve’s lying down on a sunbed, and Billy’s lying on the edge of the pool, the legs of his jeans rolled up with one leg dangling over the edge, in the water. There’s an empty pizza carton and several empty cans of beers around them. Steve’s got a couple unopened beside him, and Billy’s got an half-empty one in hand. Billy wonders if it’s because he’s starting to get drunk that he decides to answer, or if he actually feels comfortable enough with Steve already. It’s a scary thought. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“After my mum left, I didn’t think I would ever love again”, Billy says. “But then Max came, and yeah, it was shit, but not all the time, and I think I might actually love her. I think I even fucking love that little thing Susan’s got in her belly. Christ.” Billy’s actually looking forward to getting another sibling. It’s weird. But he is. In some strange way, he is. He’s wondered if that baby might have awoken some goddamn maternal instincts in Susan, and that’s why she helped him, but it doesn’t really feel that way. It’s more like she genuinely cared about those women going after him, and well, Billy had realised that they really didn’t know each other enough despite having lived together for years. He can’t help but wonder if Susan could have been an actual mother to him if his dad hadn’t been the way he is. She’s given him a taste of what it would’ve been like, since that day. She’a given him pocket money when Neil hadn’t been looking, had told him when his dad was going to be home late days before so that he’d be able to make plans with Steve, had said he should go with Max to the cinema when Steve was taking the rest of the Party so that he and Steve could sit a row behind them and hold hands in the dark, had told him she would like to really meet Steve someday, and had even made him lunch to take with him to the Pool. It’s been nice. Billy doesn’t want to lose it. But then she’d had to go and think she could save him from his father. She can’t. Billy... Billy knows she can’t. He’s resigned himself to his fate long ago. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And me?” Steve asks, effectively bringing Billy back to the present. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs, but he also can’t help but smile a little. “You, I think I might be falling in love with. I like you, I really do. I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you. But I’ve never really been in love either. I don’t know what it feels like. But I think I might be getting there, you know? Like, I know I could fall in love with you. It would be easy. I think I get nearer to it every time you smile, every time you make me laugh. Every time you kiss me” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wow”, Steve says. He sounds almost astounded. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who knew you had it in you. Billy Hargrove, the Great Romantic.” His voice is completely serious. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, fuck off!” Billy shouts at him and throws the beer can he’s got in his hand at Steve, all the while laughing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve also laughs, at least until the can hits him and spills out the beer Billy hasn’t drinker yet all over his clothes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You little shit!” He shouts, and gets off the sunbed and starts running. Billy’s expecting him to pounce on him, but he doesn’t, he jumps into the fucking pool. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy can’t stop laughing, especially not when Steve’s head pops up before he ducks it into the water again so that only his eyes and nose are visible, like a goddamn crocodile. Then he starts swimming towards Billy, and there’s a look in his eyes that Billy doesn’t like. It’s amused, but it’s also saying <em>‘I’m going to make you regret that’.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Steve... Steve, what are you doing? Steve, Steve- No, shit, no, Steve!” And he grabs Billy’s leg and pulls him down into the water. Billy’s had waves crash over him enough times to automatically take a deep breath in, but as he goes down he feels chlorine enter his nose and comes up sputtering. Then there are hands around his waist, pushing him back against the pool wall.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You okay?” Steve says, but Billy can tell he’s barely keeping himself from laughing. His face is illuminated by the lights of the pool. He’s the most beautiful thing Billy’s ever seen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mhm, yeah, fuck you Steve, but yeah, I’m okay.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good”, Steve tells him and leans forward, kissing Billy. Kissing Steve gives Billy the same feeling of pure joy and excitement, calm and exhilaration, that surfing used to give him. It’s the happiest he’s been in a while. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, let’s get up. It’s getting heavy swimming with clothes on.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I could pull them off of you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tempting, but no. Come on”, Steve says and grabs Billy’s hand. He starts swimming over to the ladder. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re the one who pulled me in.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, and now I’m pulling you out.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You go on and get us some towels. I want to float a little. Considering I’m working at a pool, I spend barely any time in the actual water.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, well, I mean, that’s a good thing, for a lifeguard”, Steve says, but he does let go of Billy to climb out of the pool and into the house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy lets himself float in the middle of the pool until Steve gets back with two towels that he spreads out on the ground. Billy gets out and comes over to him, laying down on the towel beside Steve’s. Steve grabs his hand and laces their fingers together. They’re quiet for a little while, just looking up at the stars that are starting to appear on the sky. Then Steve takes in a deep breath and starts speaking. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I thought I loved Nancy, you know?” he says, and Billy realises he’s picking up their conversation from where they left off. “I thought we were in love. Turns out we weren’t. At least she wasn’t. And I don’t think I was, either. I thought I was, and I’d never felt anything stronger for anyone else, but I mean... If I’d actually loved her, like, </span> <em> <span class="s2">really</span> </em> <span class="s1"> loved her, I think it would have hurt more when we broke up? I mean, of course it hurt, but I got over it pretty quickly? She seemed much happier with Jonathan, anyway, and I wanted her to be happy. But you?” They’re not looking at each other, both still staring up at the stars, and yet this is the most intimate Billy’s ever felt. “We aren’t even halfway as far as Nancy and I got, but I actually think my heart would break if I lost you. So yeah. I think I might be falling in love with you, too.”</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy lets out a shaky breath. “You can’t... You can’t just say shit like that to me, Steve.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you should get to confess your almost-love, then I think I should too.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy shakes his head. “Yeah, but I’m not even sure why you kissed me at that party in the first place.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy sees Steve glance at him out of the corner of his eye, and just knows he’s got at least one eyebrow raised. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, so I’m shocked you don’t know this, but you’re like, crazy hot. And you’re also really fucking pretty.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy smiles, but it’s weak. “I’m a shitty person.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve sighs and squeezes his hand. “Yeah, sure, true. But so was I. My parents are never fucking home, I’ve basically been raising myself with the help of the popular groups since I was eleven, and I was a really shitty person before. And then I started dating Nancy, and I thought that I could try to get better for her. But I talked to Rob, and she told me something that really stuck with me. You can’t get better for someone else. People leave. You don’t. You’re stuck with yourself forever. And it’s fine to lean on others, and to get help from them, but you have to want to get better for yourself for it to actually work.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She should become a therapist, that one. Or a motivational speaker.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hah. Robin could lead a revolution. But she’s right, you know? She is.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, I guess she might be.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you’ve started to be better. When you’re with me. This spring, I think. And this whole summer.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">”It’s only June, Steve.”</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean. I believe you have the capacity to be good. You’re only seventeen, for fuck’s sake, Billy. Your life is not set in stone. You can be good. I only need you to believe that, too.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think... I think I might believe that. I want to... I do want to be good. I think it would make me happier. I just... I don’t think I know how.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll help you. I’m not fucking perfect. We can learn together.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry your parents are never here. I know you miss them.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry your mum left you. I know you still love her.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’re silent again, after that. It’s starting to get really dark by the time Billy stands up and goes to grab each of them another beer. Steve sits up to look at him and catches the beer Billy throws to him once he gets back to their towels. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know what?” Billy says. “Fuck this. Fuck it all. A toast!” He spreads his arms out, wide. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve smiles at him and chuckles. “To?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“To absent mothers. To shitty dads. To </span> <em> <span class="s2">lovers</span> </em> <span class="s1">. And to finally deciding to be happy!”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan’s got an eerie sense of deja vu. She’s just gotten back home after dropping off Max at Jane’s place after work for a little ‘Girls’ Night’ away from the boys, and Neil’s car is in the driveway so he must have gotten back from work. The Camaro isn’t there yet, so Billy must still be at the Pool.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Neil is... Neil is fuming, when she gets inside the house. Susan has learned to read his moods. It’s the way Neil gets when he is incredibly angry. The silent way, with rage simmering just beneath the surface. The way he has only gotten a handful of times, like when Billy would be stopped by the police for driving too fast. It’s the type of anger that is only ever directed at Billy, and while Susan can remember all those times that Neil got really, really angry at Billy, this time she can tell it’s worse. Which is strange, because Billy hasn’t been home since breakfast yesterday. He’s spent the night at Steve’s place.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan leaves Neil in the kitchen to go read in the living room. It’s right next to the hall, and Susan wants to see Billy before Neil does. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door opens at a quarter to six and Billy steps in. He’s smiling, but it disappears quickly enough when he catches Susan’s look. Less then ten seconds later Neil steps into the living room and Susan sees Billy lean back on his right foot, as though he’s unconsciously preparing himself to back away into the hall and then out. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“God, how you try me, boy”, Neil says in that calm voice of his that doesn’t quite succeed to hide his anger. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dad?”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He scoffs. “You almost managed to convince me, Billy. Convince me you weren’t fucking queer. And I thought taking you away from California and all the influences there would help.” He almost sounds amused, which is worse than angry. “But no. It seems you managed to find your own little fairy even here.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s2">Steve. How did he...? How could he know? </span> </em> <span class="s1">Susan can’t figure it out, knows that she and Max have been careful not to say anything. And Neil doesn’t sound suspicious, or even as though he’s insulting Billy like he’s so often done without any real evidence that there’s any truth to his words. No, Neil sounds </span> <em> <span class="s2">certain</span> </em> <span class="s1">. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Dad, I don’t-“ Billy’s not panicking, Susan notices. Not yet. He’s still calm, his voice saying </span> <em> <span class="s2">‘I have no clue where you would get such and idea from’</span> </em> <span class="s1"> and Susan can’t decide if that’s good or bad. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t lie to me. Bob saw you. At the pool. Yesterday.” And now there’s real fear on Billy’s face. Bob works with Neil. Neil likes Bob.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... No, he’s-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Don’t you dare say he’s lying! No one would lie about something so </span> <em> <span class="s2">disgusting!</span> </em> <span class="s1">” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan knows she promised Billy not to intervene, but she can’t keep quiet any longer. She pushes the book she’d been clutching away from her. She’s ripped a few pages. “Neil-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Quiet, Susan!” He’s not looking at her. He’s staring right at Billy. “I don’t want our baby growing up around the likes of that!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan thinks back to Vivi. Knows Neil would hate her too if he knew all the thoughts and feelings she’s ever had. All the actions she’s done. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“You should be lucky it was Bob that saw you. Because he told me quietly. Had any of the other men seen you, they’d have told the entire workforce and </span> <span class="s2"><em>humiliated me</em>.</span> <span class="s1"> I would have killed you, if you’d humiliated me like that, Billy.”</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan can’t keep herself from gasping. Billy staring at his father with wide, shocked eyes. She knows Neil’s always wanted their family to be seen as respectable and good, but she’d never thought he’d go as far as to murder his own son. She believes him now, though. There is nothing but honesty in his voice. She can’t help but wonder if they joy over her being pregnant came from that same wish. That others would look at their family and see not two married adults with one child each, but see a family of a mum and dad and their child. It’s a scary thought. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan turns to watch Billy and sees his whole demeanour change. He looks angry, and he walks forward and pushes Neil back. Susan has never seen Billy fight back before, and neither must Neil because he looks shocked that Billy dares, which is probably the only reason he stumbles back a few steps. Billy’s in his face, screaming: </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Yeah, alright. You know what, dad? It is fucking true! Your son is a goddamn fag and there’s </span> <em> <span class="s2">nothing</span> </em> <span class="s1"> you can do about it! And I’m fucking proud of it, you asshole!” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as he’s said it it’s like he realises what he’s done. His eyes go wide, and he starts backing away, Susan’s pretty sure his whole body’s trembling, and when he speaks his voice comes out in a quiver.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“D-Dad...” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Neil doesn’t say anything, he just rushes forward and slams Billy into the wall behind him, punches his stomach a couple of times before throwing him away onto the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan stands up quicker than she’s ever stood up before, and hurries around the low table in front of the couch. Billy’s scrambling backwards, dragging himself towards the kitchen, but Neil’s faster, and he reaches down and pulls Billy so he’s leaning against the wall by the kitchen door, crouches down and slaps his cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Neil! </span> <em> <span class="s2">Stop!</span> </em> <span class="s1"> Stop it!” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He throws Billy back against the floor and Susan does not like the sound his head makes connecting to the wood. Neil turns his head to look at her. Susan sees him glance down at her belly before looking back up at her face. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Susie... think about the baby”, he says, echoing her words from just a few day’s ago, but they’re a horrible mockery. There’s a threat in his words, in the way he’s looking at her. </span> <span class="s2"><em>‘He can lose control, and if you do that again he might go after you and he could kill that child you have in you’</em>. </span> <span class="s1">And Susan knows Billy was right. She can feel it in his gaze. </span> <em> <span class="s2">‘Don’t do anything I don’t like, because I could hurt you, too’. </span> </em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Neil moves his head a little and looks pointedly at the door to the hall.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Susan bites her lip, but she does turn around and walk out to the hall. She thinks she hears Billy say something that sounds suspiciously like ‘mum’ in a soft, broken tone. It’s followed by Neil’s shouting. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t you dare call her that!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">And then she hears Billy let out a sound that sounds so close to an actual scream she nearly turns around, but she manages to stop herself. The front door closes behind her to the sound of a sob. As she hurries to her car, she can’t help but wonder if he’d called for her, or for his actual mother. It doesn’t matter. </span> <span class="s2"><em>I’m coming back for you, sweetie.</em> </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The drive to Chief Hopper is one she’s done many times. But never as close to breaking the speed limit as now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gets to his cabin in record time, and almost runs out of the car and up to the front door. Susan knocks once, twice. Sharp raps against the door. It doesn’t take long for it to open, and she’s greeted with Chief Hopper. He steps back a little when he sees it’s her, and she can see Max and Jane turn to look at her from where they’re sitting on the coach. Susan can imagine Max is confused. She wasn’t supposed to be picked up yet, after all. But Susan has more important things to deal with, so she just turns to meet Hopper’s eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mrs. Hargrove?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Chief Hopper.” Her voice is serious, collected. It doesn’t waver. There are tears in her eyes, but Susan knows she has to hold it together for her children. Max now and Billy later. “I need you to come with me. My husband is currently busy in the living room, beating my son to death.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She sees Hopper’s eyes widen, then he sets his jaw and nods at her. He goes back in to grab his police belt from where it’s draped over a kitchen chair. Max has stood up from the couch. Jane is frowning. She looks sad. The she goes away to her bedroom and emerges a few seconds later with a bit of black cloth in hand. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mum?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan gives her a weak smile. “It’s going to be alright Max. It’s finally going to be okay.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Max is still looking at her with that wide-eyed, worried look, but she nods, and lets El grab her hand and lead her out, past Susan and into the Chief’s cruiser. Susan almost stops them, she’s not certain she wants them to see whatever is waiting for them at the house, but she also isn’t sure she wants them alone her for who knows how long, so she lets them be. She gets into her own car and follow behind the Chief’s. He doesn’t turn on his sirens, for which Susan is grateful for, because it means that Neil won’t know they’re coming. And there’s almost no traffic now, anyway, so they get there almost quicker then it took Susan to drive to the Chief’s. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once they’re there he’s quick to get out and grab his gun, moving carefully up towards the front door. Susan hurries to the door to where Max is sitting and opens it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hopper radioed the station”, she says as soon as Susan’s opened the door. “He told them to call an ambulance.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan feels her whole body sag. It’s good to her, but at the same time she’s dreading the state she’ll find Billy in. It’s like finding out what Karen Wheeler and her friends did to him, and having him cry in her arms and tell her about Steve, somehow made her realise that he’s just a teenager, and he’s needed his mum so many times growing up and Susan didn’t ever really step up and act like a mum to him. She’s felt insanely protective of him since then, has relished in seeing his smile when he comes home from meeting Steve.Now she gives Max another weak smile and nods. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s great, sweetie. I’ll go with Billy to the hospital. Can you and Jane go to the Allens and wait there?” The Allens are their neighbours from across the street. They’re a sweet, elderly couple and Mrs. Allens always makes too much raspberry pie which she then gives to Susan. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Max nods and climbs out of the car, Jane close behind. But before Max can drag her away to the Allens, Jane stops and grabs Susan’s hand. She’s still holding that black fabric in her other hand, and it’s almost touching the road. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jane looks up at her with those big, expressive eyes that seem to know too much of the world, and waits for Susan to meet her gaze before speaking. “He’s dreaming”, is all she says, before Max pulls her away across the street. And Susan somehow knows she’s talking about Billy, but she’s not sure what she means or how she knows. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her thought are interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, and she turns to see Chief Hopper leading Neil out in handcuffs. And so she runs around the car, and then past them up to the front door, ignoring Neil’s call of “Susie!”. She has more important things to do. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She finds Billy almost right where she’d left him, on the floor with his legs by the door to the kitchen and his head by one if the armchairs. He’s lying slumped in his side, his hair hiding his face. Susan rushes up to him and falls to her knees beside him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gently pulls his long locks away from his face, and gasps at what she sees. His nose is bleeding, and she can already tell he’s going to have a black eye. His eyes are closed, so she quickly reaches down to feel for a pulse in his neck and sighs in relief when she finds one. She starts to run her hand through his hair, gently combing it back, and calls his name. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Billy? Billy, sweetie, wake up. Come on, Billy. Please, Billy.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It takes a minute or two, but the his eyes fall open and he blinks blearily at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“... Susan?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi”, she says with a smile, and only then, when a drop reaches her lips and she can taste salt, does she realise she’s started crying. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy starts moving then, trying to get his legs under himself and it almost works right up until the point where he tries to push his upper body up with his right hand. He cries out and starts falling, but Susan reaches out and catches him around his shoulders before he can hit the floor. She lays him down in her lap. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, no, no, sweetie, don’t move. Does your hand hurt?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He’s shuddering against her, trying to breathe through the pain. “Arm. I think... I think he broke it.” He squeezes his eyes shut. Susan sees a few tears escape, but doesn’t brush them away. Billy needs to be allowed to cry freely. “It hurts so fucking bad, shit. And my stomach. Ribs, whatever. </span> <em> <span class="s2">Fuck</span> </em> <span class="s1">.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan can hear sirens quickly approaching. She sits with Billy until they rush in and tell her to move. Then she holds his hand the entire ride to the hospital. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan’s not allowed to stay with Billy once they get to the hospital. She’s left waiting in the waiting room of the ER, and the first half hour she spends pacing until she slumps into one of the plastic chairs they have in there. She can’t stop thinking about Billy, about how happy he’s looked those first few seconds after coming home, when he was probably still thinking about Steve. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Shit</em>. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She stands back up and goes over to the pay phone they have in the waiting room and calls the number she has for the Allens. Mrs. Allen answers, asks Susan if she’s alright, if Billy’s going to be okay, and Susan reassures her she’s okay and so will Billy be, before asking if she can speak to Max.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s1">“How’s Billy?”</span> </em> <span class="s2"> is the first thing out of her mouth as soon as she’s been handled the phone. Max’s voice is choked, and Susan is glad that Jane is there to comfort her daughter. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“They’re working on him right now, sweetie. I’m sure he’s going to be fine. He was awake when they took him in.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">She hears Max let out a breath. </span> <em> <span class="s1">“Good.” </span> </em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Sweetie, I need you to call Steve. I think Billy would want him here, and he needs to know what happened. Can you do that for me?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">“Y-yeah, yeah, of course. I’ll do it right away. I love you, mum.” </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Love you too, Maxie.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Once she’s hung up and turned around to go sit back down she finds a doctor looking at her as though he’s been waiting for her to finish the phone call. He’s tall and dark haired, with glasses and a kind smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Are you Susan Hargrove?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">“Yes”, she says. “That’s me. Is Billy- Is everything alright with-?”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He smiles gently at her, but it’s not patronising, just calming. It makes Susan breathe easier. “He needed surgery for the arm. They’re working on him right now, but it all looks like he’s going to make a full recovery. But... when we did the X-Rays, we saw that he’s had multiple old injuries, old breaks that didn’t heal properly. I- I know his father did this to him. And I would assume he’s being arrested for it, so I just thought you should know. I thought it might be useful, and I saw that you’ve only been living here for some months, so I can see if I can call up the hospital or his school nurse in California tohelp you back the case up with more evidence?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... Yes, thank you. Thank so much. Please do that.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He gives her another gentle smile before turning around and leaving. As soon as he’s gone Susan falls down into a chair and breaks down crying, a trembling hand over her mouth. God, she’d never thought Neil could be so cruel. All Susan can picture is a smaller Billy, Max’ age or even younger, clutching his pillow and crying in the dark for weeks while broken bones heal. She hopes he’s never had to do that since she and Max moved in with him and his dad, but she wouldn’t be shocked if he has. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve finds her like that. He comes rushing in, but Susan doesn’t notice him until he’s standing in front of her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mrs. Hargrove?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looks up and lets out a relieved breath. But Steve’s face only gets more panicked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re crying. Billy, is he-?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Steven. Sit with me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He does, but he’s still looking at her like he expects her to break his heart. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s in surgery right now, his arm’s broken, but a doctor came out just a few minutes ago and told me that Billy’s going to be fine.” Susan sees him visibly relax at that. “Do you... do you know why he’s here?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shakes his head, frowning. “No... Max, she wouldn’t tell me. She just said that Billy was hurt and that I needed to get here.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan nods, accepts that she’s going to have to be the one to break the news of the kind of man Billy’s dad is. “Billy’s dad... Billy’s dad has been hitting him. Hurting him, calling him names. He’s abused him since he was a child.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Steve’s staring at her, incredulous. He stands up again, paces to the row of chairs in front of them and then back to looking at Susan. “</span> <em> <span class="s2">What? </span> </em> <span class="s1">And- Wait, you </span> <em> <span class="s2">knew?</span> </em> <span class="s1"> And you didn’t </span> <em> <span class="s2">do</span> </em> <span class="s1"> anything? How long? How long did you fucking know?!” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I- A few years, but I, I didn’t know what to do, I...” And then she’s breaking down and sobbing again. Steve’s right to blame her. She blames herself.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I can’t fucking believe this” she hears Steve say, hears him start pacing again. “I just... Shit, that explains so much. </span> <em> <span class="s2">Fuck</span> </em> <span class="s1">. The bruise. </span> <span class="s2"><em>His cheek</em>.</span> <span class="s1"> Shit, shit, shit. He told me he was </span> <em> <span class="s2">okay</span> </em> <span class="s1">. But I... I should have said something, I should have done something, I should have </span> <em> <span class="s2">known</span> </em> <span class="s1">. He was with me </span> <em> <span class="s2">this morning</span> </em> <span class="s1"><em>.</em> How did...” She hears him stop and slowly looks back up at him. “What brought it on? Today?” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She doesn’t want to answer. Because she knows that Steve will blame himself for it, and he doesn’t deserve that. But then again, he does deserve the truth. She can’t lie to him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A coworker of Neil’s saw the two of you kissing yesterday, and Neil got angry with Billy for being gay.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Steve’s face does crumble, another thing to add to the growing list of things Susan feels guilty about.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck. He said we were alone. But I should’ve never... I shouldn’t have asked to kiss him in such a public space. God, I’m an idiot. And now I’m here shouting at a pregnant woman.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan smiles weakly at him. “It’s alright. I can take it. But you shouldn’t blame yourself. The world... it should be more accepting. And Neil would have come up with a reason to hurt Billy again eventually.” She takes a deep breath in. “I’m divorcing him. And if Billy wants me to, then I’ll adopt him. I’m going to call Chief Hopper about it as soon as I’ve seen Billy again.” As soon as I know he’s actually okay. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Steve nods at her. “Good.” He falls down in the chair beside her, again. “I called Ms. Byers before I left. Asked her to go pick up Max and Jane. She agreed, so they’re probably going to spend the night at Will’s place. Ms. Byers is kind of dating Hopper, and the girls are friends with Will, so they should be fine there.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you”, Susan says, and takes his hand in hers, squeezing it a little before letting go. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">— </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy’s sleeping when they’re let into the room he’s been put in. His right arm has been put in a cast, and his left eye is swollen shut. There are bruises... everywhere. At least one on every exposed bit of skin Susan can see. But he’s sleeping. He’s not unconscious, or in a coma, he’s just sleeping. They let her and Steve stay for an hour before a nurse comes in and tells them that they have to leave, and that Billy probably won’t wake up until tomorrow anyway. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She goes back to the phone in the waiting room and calls the Byers’ place. Susan has memorised the phone number to all of Max’ friends. And she should probably talk to Max. Tell her Billy’s okay. Hurt, but okay. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it’s not Max that answers, and honestly, why would it be? A quick glance at the clock tells her that it’s just a little past midnight. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a female voice on the other end, one she recognised as Joyce Byers. She hasn’t really talked to Joyce, other than when she’s gone to Melvald’s to buy something. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Susan?” She sounds frantic, worried, and Susan wonders how she knew it was she calling. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi Joyce.” Even to her own ears Susan sounds exhausted. “Is Max there?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, or, I mean- I just managed to get them to fall asleep. But I can wake them! Is it important? Is Billy okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan can’t help herself from smiling a little. “That’s why I was calling. I thought I should let Max know that he’s going to be okay. He’s hurt, his arm is broken, and his ribs are bruised, all- all of him’s bruised, really, but he’s going to be okay. He was sleeping when we saw him. But he’s going to be alright.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s good.” Even if she can’t see her, Susan can hear the gentle smile in her voice. “And you? And the baby? How are you two?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Susan feels a little taken aback that she would think to ask. She moves a hand up to rest on her belly and strokes it a little with a small smile. “We’re both good. I’m divorcing Neil. He’s never going to get his hands on my children again. My </span> <em> <span class="s2">three</span> </em> <span class="s1"> children.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m proud of you, Susan. I was... I was in a similar situation. But we can talk more about that when you get here. I’ll wait up for you.” She says it as though it’s obvious, but Susan doesn’t really understand what she’s talking about.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Get there’?” she asks. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, well, I don’t imagine you want to go back to your house. I’m not even sure if you’re allowed to, or if Jim’s still treating it as a crime scene. So come to me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Susan thinks she feels tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She’s quickly realising that Joyce Byers is an actual angel sent down to earth. “Thank you, Joyce.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course, Susan.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She turns around after having hung up to see Steve sitting down and waiting for her. At first Susan can’t imagine why, before she realises that she doesn’t have a car, and then she’s grateful that Steve somehow knew or thought to check. She asks him to drive her back to the house, and then she gets into her own car and drives to the Byers’. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Joyce hugs her when she arrives, and then she leads her to her own bedroom and tells her she can sleep there. Susan protests, but Joyce tells her that Max and Jane are on the couch, and she herself can go sleep in Will’s room, so Susan thanks her and changes into the the nightgown she let her borrow. She falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next morning she eats breakfast with the Byers’ and Jane, and she tells Max about Billy. After breakfast, she calls Hopper, talks about the charges they’re putting against Neil, and tells the Chief she’s going to divorce him and wants to get custody of Billy. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She then takes Max with her to go see Billy. He wakes up when they’ve been there for about half an hour. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can only get one eye open, and he still looks tired, but his voice is clear when he speaks. “So, what’s the verdict?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bruised ribs”, Susan says. “Broken arm. They had to perform surgery to get all the bones in place. And you have very, very many bruises. A small concussion.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs and nods, a small movement. Susan imagines it hurts him to move too much. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s happening now? Where’s d- Neil?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hopper took him to the station. He’s going to prison. I’ll make sure of it.” She reaches out and takes his hand, the one not in a cast, and gives it a squeeze. “And I’m going to adopt you, if you want?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks at her, and bites his lip. “Yes. Shit, yes. Please.” He blinks a couple of times. “I know I told you not to intervene, but I... I’m happy you did. Shit.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smiles at him and strokes his hand. They’re silent for a while, before Max suddenly stands up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can I sign your cast?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Billy laughs but nods at her, and she gets out a pen to do so. They spend the whole day there, and Steve comes about an hour after they did. When they get back to the Byers Susan helps Joyce make dinner, and afterwards Joyce puts on a movie for the kids. Susan’s in the kitchen when the phone rings, but comes out when Joyce calls her and tells her it’s Hopper. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Susan”, he says, and she can already hear it in his voice that she’s not going to look forward to whatever it is he’s going to say. “I just found out that...” he sighs. “Neil, he never- Well. Billy’s mother, she still... she still has custody over Billy.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Right, so, the talk Steve and Billy have is inspired by the song “Toast” by Smith &amp; Thell. </p><p>I did try to research custody rights, and how it works if one parent leaves, but ultimately, this is fanfiction (and in a universe with other dimensions, powers, and monsters), so I don’t think it has to be as accurate or fit reality as much as I would try to do had I written my own fictional story for publication. I hope you forgive me for the liberties I’m taking. 😅</p><p>I hope you liked this part! Please leave a comment or kudos if you did!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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